Meet Chantelle Danielle. She’s an up and coming writer who believes she’s finally ready to reveal to the world who she is.
How are you?
CD: The appropriate answer for this question would be “I’m fine.” But I’ll be honest, I’m not. I’m far from it. I can’t say I’m content either. I’m just… living.
What do you mean by “just living?”
CD:Just living means that I’m not happy neither content with my current situation but I’m working towards being content or better yet, happy.People always tell me to be content with my current situation, but I can’t because it bothers me daily.
You say that you’re finally ready to reveal yourself to the world.
CD: I believe I am. I’ve grown weary of keeping silent because I’ve come to realize that I am not meant to be. I often give people a facade. There are few times where a person is given the real me. I can count on one hand and less than four fingers the people that know the real me. I just don’t feel the need to hide who I am anymore- my interests, my sexuality, none of that. These are components of who I am. And I’m not hindering myself from expression to make someone else feel comfortable.
How is this going to carry over to your writing?
CD: It’ll be a lot more honest and dark. I’ll be talking about topics that I’ve always wanted to talk about but was too afraid to.
CD: Haha yes dark. It wasn’t until recently that I realized that I deal with depression. I’ve been dealing with it since I was a kid and it wasn’t until now that I looked back on my life and realized that I’ve never been happy. That I was always a pessimist or negative nancy. I’ve decided to air those dark thoughts. I think darkness is beautiful though.
How are you dealing with depression?
CD: Taking it day by day. People think it’s so easy to go from negative to positive thinking. Like there’s some switch you just flick. There isn’t. This is an issue that I’ve dealt with my whole life so far. I’ve been trying to read some books and heed advice from my mentors but in the end it all boils down to me. I’ve got to look myself in the mirror and deal with this before it deals with me.
How’s your love life?
CD: Dismal. Non existent. I wrote a piece about it called “Dismal Love.” Did I mention that I haven’t had sex in a year and a couple of months?! Haha. Anywho, yeah I recently met this girl who had everything I wanted and needed. She was feeling me and I was feeling her. Then one day I got a text telling me she realized that she had too much baggage and couldn’t lead me on to believe that she could start something new. We still talk as friends, but sometimes I can’t help but to get mad because she could’ve been the one. But whatever. Right now, I’m done trying. It’s pointless and I could use the energy I put into being turned down by women into something else.
So what are your plans for the rest of 2014?
CD: To focus on my myself and my career. I graduate from CofC in December 2015 and I’m currently doing an internship for Elixher. I’ve never fully focused on me, and now is the time to do so. There are so many things that I want to do and accomplish that can only be done if I have tunnel vision.
"it is not my responsibility to petition anyone to love me and to fight for me. In both my romantic and platonic relationships, I have learned how to stand still even when people I want in my life are walking away and all I can see are images of their backs getting smaller as they move further away.”
”I remembered that no matter the smile, the open communication, the love you see and feel, some of the most loving people are capable of hurting you.”
"if I’m not truthful with myself about the state of my own heart, like my former lover, I may end up making the worst mistakes with the best intentions when it comes to love."
After reading the “Date A Girl Who Reads” article, I knew someone out there would have written a response with “Date A Girl Who Writes”. Thus, here it is. I wish I knew who to credit for this, but I couldn’t find a name.
Date a girl who writes because she will be able to recall in detail the…
Do you believe that racism towards white people does not exist?
Stop. Just stop it right now, as I do not have time for the “reverse racism” argument presented with eleven words instead of two.
Ask yourself this, as I assume you are white and need an answer:
If people of other races are prejudiced against white people, are the prejudiced attitudes of these people capable of oppressing whites on a large scale? As in oppressing all white people everywhere, all over the world, regardless of where they come from, what language they speak, how well-rounded they are, or how intelligent and capable they are. Has this happened yet? Has an innocent white person ever been jailed or killed by a black cop without probable cause? More than once? More than a million times? How about for as long as jails, and guns, and rope, and high branches to hang them on have existed? Has it happened and outraged the white race because such an injustice based off a widely held prejudice has become such a sick and twisted normality that no one seems to see how this racism can cut their white lives short but them? Because no one cares but them? Are white women the world’s last pick?
The answer is no.
Racism is not 'Boohoo they don't like me and it hurts my feelings!' It’s 'They believe I am inferior, and inhuman, and are able to express this to me in every aspect of my life with no true repercussions because the people that are 'they', control EVERYTHING. They are in positions of power everywhere. They are in charge in large quantities of what I see, what I hear, what I read, my paycheck, the education system, the legal system, medical care, the standard of beauty, the measure of competence—all of which they can pass on subliminal and sometimes even blatant (because this is America where free speech is alive) messages of how I am less of a human because I am not them. I can never be the 'they', and they can hold it against me because I have no choice but to suffer, because I can't change who I am.'
Are there black people who hate white people? YES! But these attitudes are a product of the long history of blood, sweat, tears, and racism black people have dealt with. It is not so much a disdain for everything you were created to be, but an utter disgust with the ignorance many white people still carry to this day when they do not, can not, or don’t want to understand that some scars are too deep to ‘kumbaya’ over. We’re sick of being told to ‘get over it’ by people who’ve never suffered from it, and we’re sick of being asked questions like these all because you don’t want to feel guilty or sorry for a history you cannot change—which sucks for you—but it is a history you have been taught and could never empathize since you can sit here and try to imply what you did.
You never even think about racism until you hear people of color talking about how real it is to them. So then, you think just because you’re not hardwired to wonder if or suspect that every black person you meet (whether they smile or curse your name to your face) is racist means that you are an upstanding human being—a model of tolerance who deserves a Nobel Peace Prize—when in reality, all it reveals is that you are not qualified to make this argument ever. NEVER.
So there’s this girl right… lol. She’s cool.. Like really cool. She’s smart as hell and is very ambitious. It motivates me. And that’s what I’ve been looking for. Someone who I not only motivate them but they motivate me. Her voice is just… mmm lol. She’s looking for what I’m looking for. Hopefully at the end of our search we end up face to face to each other.
“Confidence isn’t walking into a room with your nose in the air, and thinking you are better than everyone else, it’s walking into a room and not having to compare yourself to anyone else in the first place.”—(via sexual-feelings)